Late last night, I found myself googling about life, like I usually do. Well, it's always something specific I'm googling that lands me into another search and that actually ends up being the very thing I'm looking for. Last night, I think I was initially reading about "twin flames" (it's an interesting topic if you take the time to learn about it), and that led me to articles about twins whose twins died in the womb. I kept replaying this conversation I had with one of my friends over and over from over a week ago and that's what really got me thinking. He said that the type of music I listen to always seems so sad and like I'm missing
0 Comments
Have you ever recalled a memory, or a series of events, in your life that you can't believe happened to you? Or, all of a sudden, you have a flashback of situations you had totally forgot EVER happened to you/with you/that you were involved in that it surprises you? I think I wrote about this some time ago, but I've been having so many "epiphanies" lately that I had to revisit such a topic again. What triggered this train of thought was when I was talking to one of my friends about all of the things I had endured in Basic
I had one disgruntled "customer," well reader, that was not too fond of my post about me being too honest for some people. He was one of the toxic, negative people I had cut out from my life. I hate that dude so much. Well, I try not to actually hate anyone, but some people just take you there that you start to reconsider if it's maybe not such a bad thing. However, I attempt to love all of God's creatures so I just settle for a strong dislike of this person. He definitely didn't like the truth I had prepared for him. I had pretended and lied to him for YEARS and I apologized from the bottom of my heart because it was wrong
I've been working on communicating more effectively with others. I have always tried to express myself but I was either at a loss for words or tried to sugar coat and beat around the bush for things so everyone else could feel comfortable. I can't do that anymore. I didn't feel good about not being able to really say what I had to say or maybe I didn't say it as straightforward as I could have and now I feel like I have finally found my voice and some are not happy with that. I don't care anymore. I can't "pretend" for the
After about 2 weeks of sulking and deep thinking, I'm over it. I had "shut down" to recover from the bullshit that had managed to surround me and now I feel much better. What I learned, from my own self, is that I don't have to always completely cut people out of my life. When I say that, I mean, nobody is perfect and I can't let one bad apple influence my interactions with others. However, the lesson I learned was that, with some people, once you recognize the not so good qualities in them, you can still have them around but at a bit of a distance. I truly love my own company and the beautiful silence it brings, plus I get way too anxious when people want to hang out. It's stressful because I am very non-punctual,
I have always found it funny that we create our own life lessons to be learned. Like, in that moment, we think we are simply enjoying the moment but we look back on that time and we realize just how much of an impact that moment had on us. I think back on a lot of things that I thought were insignificant but ended up being some of the most influential experiences in my life that I needed to learn from. Well, all of this to say that I remember a time that an ex told me to "not to shut off your heart." Ironically, he eventually broke my heart where I definitely needed time to regroup and had to shut off my heart. I think back on that conversation, though, and he was wrong. Sometimes, you have to shut down to protect you
|
About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
|