Honestly, when I haven't blogged in a few days, and even maybe a month sometimes, it's not always because I am super busy or forgot to write. Sometimes I have so much to say that I don't know where to start and the majority of the time, the topics are too deep and I'm not ready to share that part of myself with the world. I want to voice these loud thoughts in my head that are just begging to be heard but I don't know if I can let them out just yet. I want to start being more open and expressive but I'm scared that if I unleash that can of worms then people might seriously think there's something wrong with me and maybe even a little alarmed at some of the
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I decided to write about this topic because I feel like it keeps creeping its way into my life, at one point or another, with different conversations I've had different people. When I talk about being unbroken or broken, I mean within myself. I look at it like being a mirror that has shattered to the floor, slowly trying to become whole again, although I will never be the same mirror as I was before, every time there is a little piece of me that will be missing completely or altered in some way. I have come so far in this journey of self but I am nowhere near where I feel I should be or what I am completely satisfied with being. I don't believe that anyone can ever reach pure elation, pure happiness ever. I feel like there will always be something we strive for outside of ourselves or even from within ourselves, that is just unobtainable. We will always want more out of life. I want to be
To me, I think Heaven will just be the most beautiful place anyone has ever seen. I imagine it to be warm with the sun glowing, all of the angels just floating around, reminiscing with one another. The environment will be embracing and that of pure elation, such happiness and love filling the entire population. I see everyone floating around with their wings, and everyone's like this transparent film, and not in human form. I think Heaven is one big party, one big continuous celebration of the afterlife and the sun is shining for all eternity. Heaven, to me, is your paradise. I imagine it being as if someone were hugging you, that hold of support and that lovingness, for a long time and that's the feeling you have everyday, for forever. I think Heaven is like the cool kids hangout spot and everyone gets along and there is no room for hatred, only love.
You ever feel like your trapped in this bad dream or like life is playing a really bad joke on you and you just don't get it? That's how I have been feeling, sort of like I'm in a weird daze as I walk about in life. It's like one minute everything is clear and I'm like "Okay, this is it, this is what I need to do" and then it's like my moment of clarity disappears before I can even make any sense of it. I hate that. It's hard to balance reality and your daydreams when you're quickly teetering back and forth. I try to get through each day that I can and just make it through that. It is all about little steps and pushing on until there is nothing left. My mind is kind of scatter brained so I hope it all makes sense in the end... In life, we have to make choices and they will be choices that
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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