So, about a week ago, I was TERRIBLY UPSET and just having a meltdown and I wrote about it on here. Well, that meltdown has passed (thank God) and literally in the week's time, things have done a 180, not quite a full 360 (I'm waiting on that), but I'm grateful nonetheless. I think I might just be buzzing from the fact that I got a new job! I still have a few things to do before I'm officially in the position but I accepted the job offer and got the paperwork started yesterday to get the ball rolling. Side note: it is NOT the job that
0 Comments
I've been feeling just so ANGRY lately and I've just had this RAGE consume me where my whole body feels like there's this static-like energy flowing through it and it's driving me nuts. I've always dealt with my typical sadness but this anger felt so new to me that it even took me a few days to realize that it wasn't my usual sadness taking over. I even looked it up about anger actually being more of a secondhand type of emotion and is often a mask for what you're really feeling and trying to cover up with anger. The person might be trying to mask that their in pain of some sort or because they feel like they've lost control and don't want to feel vulnerable. I would definitely agree more so with
As a partner,( or as myself in general) I've always went by the notion of my mom saying, "You go digging for dirt, you're going to find it," and then I added onto it, in later years, with "and that's how you hurt your own feelings." I have never been the type to pry and spy on the person I'm with, as in I don't go snooping through their phone, social media, or their things overall. I've tried to "spy" once before and look at their messages but it just made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to even engage in the act so that will never be me to be the type. However, I am a very inquisitive person and, sometimes, I can be
I think the most damning moment came for myself, to myself, was writing in response to a prompt in my gratitude journal prompt. The prompt was "write a list of 10 qualities that you like about yourself." That was it, just 10!!! It was only 10 and you'd think you would just be bursting at the seams with how many things that you LOVE (not just "like") about yourself but I was stumped! I did eventually scrounge up a list that STILL took me awhile and I finished up the list and closed up my notebook. I finally reread it over today and it made me smile but it also brought some sadness because it felt like such a defeat when I wrote it originally. It did make me realize, however, that I need to work on kinder with myself. I'm constantly making all these excuses for others and wanting to see the good in them but
|
About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
|