Since I was on a roll with my last post about one of my shitty ex's, I thought I'd share some more craziness about my life and past relationships... So, after my breakup with Timmy, I met this other guy, Gabe. He was so sweet and loving. We dated for a week and already talked about getting married at the court house. We were crazy, I know. I started to notice some similar behaviors between him and Tim, though, and I just had to reevaluate some things. He was super possessive, literally waited in the bathroom with me while I peed once, and he would just want to be up under me 24/7. I thought I wanted a boyfriend who was all about me, all the
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Actual journal entry: Man, IDK how to feel about Timmy right now... He got so mad last night because I didn't call him in 5 minutes. We tried to tell him (lie) to him that Rachel was using my phone... That did not work (-_-). I can't even talk, well write, about it right now. He makes me kind of nervous about things. So then we were on the phone last night and what he said disturbed me a little... I was telling him about Alex & Brandon, and how she might leave for California when she graduate... He said it was fucked up of her for her to leave him. Then I told
It's like one day you're going through the motions, just kind of floating on from one day to the next. You're just existing, not really living, like your world is black and white. Then, one day, it happens... You fall in so deep in love you wonder how you ever got this far in life without this person. Your world suddenly becomes more vibrant and colorful and you start to live. You feel refreshed and so overwhelmingly happy. You look forward to those conversations that seem to linger all day and into the night because you don't want to be without them or their
I have been having the weirdest dreams lately. It is driving me nuts. My dreams are the one place where I can escape the shit that is reality and right now, they are shit too. Last night, I had this weird ass dream where I was at the gas station but with a lot of people, I think it was my best friend (Lola) and her family? Either way, it was a big group of people at this gas station. Something happened and there was about to be some big brawl or whatever so we're all just sitting around, on edge, I can't even remember what the incident was as to why we
I feel like since my last post kind of left off on a depressing note, I thought I'd write another post that's not so gloomy. This post is about me trying to be a sneaky teenager and sneaking out with my step sister. It's funny to write about this as an adult because I am grown and can finally get some things off my chest without being grounded by my mom (sorry, mom). I laugh about some of the dumb things I did as a teen because I just thought I was having the time of my life and truly being a "bad girl" and I did make some crazy memories so it wasn't all bad but still hilarious to me to actually experience some of the things I did. I'm laughing now as I even
I met with this guy and I can't remember our conversation, well, the conversation that led to this point, but I basically told him I was a self-admitted, or self-proclaimed, pessimist. He said that he was more of a hopeful pessimist or whatever. What he said isn't really the point of this post. It reminded me of the conversation I had with my friend the other day and he said he hopes I change my thought process in the future and to keep smiling. I basically told him that life on earth is just suffering, with a few good days in between to make it not seem so bad all the time. I literally told him that. I also told him that I try to be realistic and we're born to die.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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