I don't know how this just crossed my mind but I think about it every time I get around my friends who do smoke and try to peer pressure me into it. I used to think I was a smoker in like, my senior year of high school. I was best friends with this girl who was a serious weed stoner and we would ride around my car and get so high on the weekends! Oh my gosh, I was so high one time I COULD NOT DRIVE. Then I joined the Army and that was that... I was never a big weed head so it didn't bother me, really. I got discharged
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The last few days I have just felt so emotional. I don't know why and it's really bothering me. Well, over the weekend, my feelings were hurt over this incident but then I worked through that and I'm over it now. I still just feel so flooded with this sadness and I keep finding myself holding back the urge to cry. I hate when I feel this way and I don't know where the feelings come from and I think that frustrates me even more. I know I should probably just go to a therapist and I have looked into it. I still find it so ironic
I am completely in love with the song I uploaded from YouTube yesterday. The song "I wish it would rain" by The Temptations. The song was written by Rodger Penzabene about his wife who had cheated on him and she had been his whole world. He was crushed about the situation and so he writes the song about wishing it would rain so he can go outside and his tears and pain will blend in and no one will know that he had spent so much time crying inside the house. All he wants is to cry to release the hurt he feels and
I had the weirdest dream last night. I was at my grandma's house, I'm assuming, but it wasn't like her house in real life. There was this girl, young woman really, that was there. I'm not sure how the topic got brought up but I found out that she was my daughter. It was freaking weird. She was like 18 or 19 years old! She was so beautiful but I was so confused. Obviously this was a dream because there would be no freaking way that I'm 22 (in real life) and gave birth to her! What‽ That would have made me like 4 or 5 to
You ever just feel too sad to sleep? Like, you know that you could easily drift off into your dreams and maybe you'll feel better there but you can't even get to that point because you just feel this overwhelming sense of such sadness and so you just kind of lay there. You lay there and your thoughts start taking you to these deep, dark corners of your mind that you try to escape from but you can't. You find the depths of these dark corners kind of comforting and so you stay stuck in those thoughts. It just
I posted the video right underneath this post and it is so realistic and relatable, I just had to share it. It centers around a guy who committed suicide and the kind of anger and resentment his friend felt towards it. It made me feel good to find this video and this song because there are so many faces of suicide that no one really thinks about. For me, when I was being suicidal and having those ideations, I definitely can feel how the guy felt, in the beginning of the video, when he feels like he needed more love and the drugs didn't help but it just didn't seem like anything was enough for him so he took his own
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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