I had therapy today and it really made me realize just how FAR I've come. I filled out this assessment that I had previously completed and my results have dropped down significantly. The assessment was to basically assess my levels of depressions through different questions. The first time I did the evaluation my score was a 19. I can't remember how the rating scale is set up but a 19 is really high. Today, my score was an 8! I know that I have been making progress but it helps to kind of have that validation in knowing
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I was reading these Whisper App confessions and the topic was about adults looking back and realizing that their parents had been right about certain things with them. I think that when we hit that dreaded, awkward stage in our lives of being teenagers then we start believing that we know everything. Also, I shouldn't say that everyone's teenaged years were ALL bad, but in ANY stage of life you're in, there will be things that go wrong that you have to find solutions to, and that doesn't mean it's always some crisis issue that needs addressing. Moving on though... The topic got me thinking about what things were my parents actually right about and if I ever really listened to what they had to say... The first thing that
The more I discover and learn about myself, the more empowered I feel. I started this blog feeling so down and without direction of where to go or how to start life from that moment on. I look back at those first couple of posts and I feel that hurt I was in. I remember the hurting in my heart and soul because I was in such a dark place within my own mind; there seemed to be this everlasting storm coming down on me and I gave up on fighting for the sunshine. I still have "relapses" where I want to give up and regress to my old ways to that hopeless space but I'm learning to fight past that. I have actively taken plenty of
Okay, so I might have jumped the gun a little bit by saying that the bird was a canary! I think it might be some kind of warbler bird. I looked up the different types, like the one I seen, but there were so many kinds that it was hard to pinpoint. Nonetheless, whatever kind of bird it was, it was beautiful and I still believe it was a message from my grandma. I say that because of the bird's bright yellow belly. Yellow was my grandma's favorite color and we had all decided to wear yellow for her funeral. I remember describing my family and I as looking like "rays of sunshine" for her with all this yellow we had one. I don't even like
I know the title is a little "odd," well not to me, but I was looking up these inspirational quotes to write on sticky notes and post all around the office and this one stood out to me. The quote read "Cupcakes were muffins that believed in miracles." I loved that it took on a new approach from the "ugly caterpillar that became a beautiful butterfly" or "from a duckling to a swan" type of thing. However, that quote was to paint the picture of what is happening in my life... Nothing is necessarily "wrong" with me, it's just this transformation that I feel myself undergoing. I'm sure I've blogged about this 1000 times and I will blog about it 1000 times more if I felt the need because we are constantly evolving into ourselves. Whether
My heart was bursting at the seams, it felt, to get home and to write about this experience today... After work, I stopped by my mom's (as I usually do), and we're all sitting around in the kitchen (as we all usually do). Those small details don't really matter but it helps to set the scene, at least. Anyways, the back door is open, like it always is to let in some natural light, and I happened to go up to the door and I saw the most prettiest bird, that I had once again NEVER seen in my life, at least maybe not as close if I ever did. It was a little brown, with specks of yellow in its feathers and had a bright yellow tummy. This beauty caught my eye IMMEDIATELY. It had landed so perfectly on the ramp in front of the door, in perfect
Until just a few days ago, I had felt like shit. I did not feel well AT ALL. I think it was because I was possibly very dehydrated and exhausted. I was exhausted because my husband snoring was keeping me up and I was getting broken, disrupted sleep (which is actually worse for you than no sleep at all or a short amount of sleep to begin with). I feel better now and finally got a little rest. Now that that is out of the way, I have a few other things to get off my chest. One, I have still not completely fallen in love with
There has been so much on my mind these past few weeks. I just have all of these thoughts floating around in my head and I keep trying to "wipe" them away but to no avail. I have been trying to fall in love with the new place but I'm actually kind of homesick (apartment sick?) about the old place. We were there for 3 years and I loved the management so much. I was actually very sad to even tell them we were moving to another place. I keep thinking about my medication and how I know I feel when I take it but then some people make me feel bad for taking it by saying shit like "It's all in your head, everyone has problems. You've just got to be peaceful and forget all of the negativity." It hasn't all been in those exact
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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