Have you ever recalled a memory, or a series of events, in your life that you can't believe happened to you? Or, all of a sudden, you have a flashback of situations you had totally forgot EVER happened to you/with you/that you were involved in that it surprises you? I think I wrote about this some time ago, but I've been having so many "epiphanies" lately that I had to revisit such a topic again. What triggered this train of thought was when I was talking to one of my friends about all of the things I had endured in Basic Training. I didn't focus on only the "bad" because there were certainly good times that I was happy to have experienced. However, the bad consisted of me being so stressed out and overwhelmed that it took a physical toll on me, and that wasn't even me making shit up, or excuses, just to be discharged. I don't want to get into everything that was going on with me and my body (unless I've told you personally) but the memories, good and bad, from years ago, seem so unreal to me now. It feels like I "stole" these stories from someone else's life and simply inserted myself into them instead (but I definitely went through all of that). I just can't believe that I (ME) had ACTUALLY joined the military. I struggled, yet graduated, from boot camp, and even though I was discharged in AIT, I'm still considered a Veteran and that blows my mind! Furthermore, I've been experiencing random flashbacks from when I was a teenager. I can't pinpoint some of these experiences, right now as I blog, and I don't care to truly discuss them on my public site, but it's that same feeling of surreal-ness and how I can't believe I had put myself in such situations, both good and bad. Additionally, have you ever had occurrences happen, in your life, that you think about how you can never tell anyone (or feel comfortable enough) about such occasions? I don't think I have too many of those but there are a couple that I've buried in the back of my mind... There have been a few (very limited) times where I felt free enough to speak on pieces of the "not so dark" situations with individuals and I would instantly regret opening up my mouth in the first place, but it also confirmed, within myself, that that's why they are secrets I must keep to myself, even if it hurts to hold it in.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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