I had therapy today and it really made me realize just how FAR I've come. I filled out this assessment that I had previously completed and my results have dropped down significantly. The assessment was to basically assess my levels of depressions through different questions. The first time I did the evaluation my score was a 19. I can't remember how the rating scale is set up but a 19 is really high. Today, my score was an 8! I know that I have been making progress but it helps to kind of have that validation in knowing that, through actively working with myself and managing my depression, my results prove what I have been feeling and already knew. Everyday, I look for the little victories in even the smallest things that I do and I just go from there. I don't always get it right and the negativity might take over, even if it takes over for more than a day, I know that the storm will eventually past even if it hurts for the moment. With that train of thought I keep pushing on, falling on my face and getting back up again, and continue down the path that has been set out for me. I am not saying that I am some "perfect" person now (perfection doesn't exist) but I want to be the best version of myself that I've always known I can be and to finally have that peace of self that I've dreamed of for so long. Today's small victory: outside of therapy, I finally put together my resume that I had never had much confidence in doing. I feel pretty good about it.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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