I've been feeling just so ANGRY lately and I've just had this RAGE consume me where my whole body feels like there's this static-like energy flowing through it and it's driving me nuts. I've always dealt with my typical sadness but this anger felt so new to me that it even took me a few days to realize that it wasn't my usual sadness taking over. I even looked it up about anger actually being more of a secondhand type of emotion and is often a mask for what you're really feeling and trying to cover up with anger. The person might be trying to mask that their in pain of some sort or because they feel like they've lost control and don't want to feel vulnerable. I would definitely agree more so with the second part of that. I'm angry because I feel more confused than anything and like I'm flailing about while I struggle to gain control over my sense of self and my life as a whole. I'm pissed off because I am back sinking when I thought I was safe on the shore (that's a blah analogy, but it works for now). This rage feeling is so new to me, on this level, I'm trying to just break it all down and go from there but I find new waves of anger at every turn because it's like starting back at 1 when I thought I was on at least step 5. For a few months now, I thought I was so sure and doing better in my life but then it's like 1 thing happens and I topple over with everything I thought was in the right place. I feel this pain in my mind even writing this because I'm still trying to find ways around this, but there's nothing I can do but go through it and eventually see where I come out in the end, if there's ever an end.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
|