Actual journal entry: Man, IDK how to feel about Timmy right now... He got so mad last night because I didn't call him in 5 minutes. We tried to tell him (lie) to him that Rachel was using my phone... That did not work (-_-). I can't even talk, well write, about it right now. He makes me kind of nervous about things. So then we were on the phone last night and what he said disturbed me a little... I was telling him about Alex & Brandon, and how she might leave for California when she graduate... He said it was fucked up of her for her to leave him. Then I told him I might go to Chicago. He said I better not leave him for college, then he said if I leave, he's coming with me. IDK what to make of this right now... (end of entry). I think this was maybe back in 2011 and I dated this guy, Timmy. I was clearly in the wrong relationship. Actually, 4 days later, I even wrote about some incident where he pulled me out of the car and him telling me there were rules and regulations to us being together, as well as certain things that had to stop if we dated officially. I thought I could change his ways for me at the end of that entry. Wow. One time, he fought me over my ex calling my phone and tried to have my swerve off the road when I was taking him home (with my sister and nephew in the car). It was not worth it with this dude. I think back on it and I am glad things ended when they did because I could have stayed by him and ended up a victim of serious domestic violence because that is where that was headed. I remember always being so nervous and jumpy around him because I didn't want anyone to call me or need me to do anything while he was around because I thought he was going to beat my ass and lose his shit. We didn't even date a month and he was trying to regulate my life. I don't remember how we broke up but I am so happy I got away from that when I did. From what I hear now, he's in jail or something. I don't know why but FUCK HIM. He was a piece of shit that wanted to control me. To my readers: love should not hurt, you should not be scared of someone you love.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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