I decided to write about this topic because I feel like it keeps creeping its way into my life, at one point or another, with different conversations I've had different people. When I talk about being unbroken or broken, I mean within myself. I look at it like being a mirror that has shattered to the floor, slowly trying to become whole again, although I will never be the same mirror as I was before, every time there is a little piece of me that will be missing completely or altered in some way. I have come so far in this journey of self but I am nowhere near where I feel I should be or what I am completely satisfied with being. I don't believe that anyone can ever reach pure elation, pure happiness ever. I feel like there will always be something we strive for outside of ourselves or even from within ourselves, that is just unobtainable. We will always want more out of life. I want to be at peace with things but I just can't allow myself to give into that and settle into what is already there. I have to constantly work and reinvent myself to become the person I need to be for me. With my values, beliefs, and different opinions, I am only trying to be my own individual. I want to be unbroken because I think I have potential for something greater than me. I don't think I am some angel on earth but there has got to be something out there that is just bigger than me as a human being and I have to find it. I have to allow myself that freedom to tap into this feeling that I have and I don't know, maybe that is just me seeking to be unbroken in my own terms, but I hope I find it. I want to be whole and I want the world to see that I am more than what I am. I will not be a shattered mirror, a million pieces on the floor, everyone getting hurt when they come into contact with these pieces, that has nowhere to be but on the ground. I let myself sink into that despair a long time ago and although I am not completely out of that dark place, I am trying so hard to get to the sunshine that is in life somewhere. I don't know... I might just be rambling and tired from work still.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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