I posted the video right underneath this post and it is so realistic and relatable, I just had to share it. It centers around a guy who committed suicide and the kind of anger and resentment his friend felt towards it. It made me feel good to find this video and this song because there are so many faces of suicide that no one really thinks about. For me, when I was being suicidal and having those ideations, I definitely can feel how the guy felt, in the beginning of the video, when he feels like he needed more love and the drugs didn't help but it just didn't seem like anything was enough for him so he took his own life because it was too much for him to just be alive and he saw that as his only way out. The chorus is saying how sorry he was to his family and friends. This song and video has definitely pulled at my heart strings because it took me going to counseling and having to talk to my family to really understand the toll my suicide would have taken on them had I gone through with it. I also wanted them to understand that suicide can seem selfish to some, but for the person wanting to die, we don't think of it as selfish. I didn't at least. I thought my being gone would make it easier for them. I thought I was a burden and everyone would get what they wanted if I was gone; I would finally be "happy" and they would have one less person to worry about, one less person to not "drag" down. I just want for people to understand the pain someone must be feeling to even consider that suicide is the only way for them to not have that pain anymore. It's not even some physical pain or really a pain that can be easily tamed. It's just this suffering you feel deep down inside yourself that keeps growing and you have to be willing to pull yourself out if you're going to want that pain to stop and to really commit to getting help. To be honest, I still find myself being pulled back down into that place of hurt and pain but everyday I strive to fight past it. I have to remind myself that I am important and I mean something to somebody.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
|