Lately, I've been trying to tuck all of these feelings away (I imagine I could fold them up like laundry and put them up somehow) and thinking that I could walk around in my day to day life like my sock isn't falling down inside my shoe (like my metaphor?). I've been spiraling between anger, frustration, sadness, and this sheer fucking boredom! I don't want to confront these feelings because I get nervous at what could come next. I've usually only bounced between contentment and sadness majority of the time so it's a new thing to have to be mindful that there are more emotions present that I can't hide from. Aside from that, I'm hoping there's a silver lining to all my own induced madness, in the end. I've been thinking about how I don't want to feel so lost anymore. The only thing is, I'm lost in not knowing how to reach a destination, because I don't know where to start. It is true that, in just a year, 365 days, you can be in a different space in all facets of your life. I LITERALLY experienced that this past year and now I just want to know how do I fit into these changes and if I'm supposed to fit into it, knowing that next year could be so very different than where I think I'm supposed to be? Okay, I definitely have been writing in this "riddle-type" style and I'm a little over it myself but bare with me, it's the only way I know how to make sense to myself, if that makes sense to anyone else? I'm just tired of being so blah all the time. I want to be so much more but I just wish I had a vision of where it is I want to be. I'm not saying I'm in a bad place, currently, but I just know that something better is within reach and I want it. Stay tuned.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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