How does anyone ever really know when they're in love? I find myself asking myself this question everyday and I still don't really have an answer. Google defines love as "An intense feeling of deep affection". Great. What does that even MEAN??? Merriam-Webster had a ton of definitions but none of them really resolved my issue either. Can anyone truly define love? Maybe there is no real definition, maybe its just a sense, something you feel. I wish I had taken my time trying to "fall in love" because it comes with a world of responsibility that no one ever expects to prepare for.
9 Comments
Ella Marie
3/5/2014 10:46:51 am
I would like to know what you think about the show Being Mary Jane...about her affair with a married man ..especially about the way she went about telling the mans wife she was sleeping with him? Love to me is a choice, when you get past the lovey dovey feelings and that high comes a point where you decide if you are going to make the right choice by that person and carry it out.
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Bre Donaldson
3/5/2014 02:23:28 pm
I've never actually seen the show Being Mary Jane...I never really got interested in it but love is beautiful and it can be amazing but once that high is gone and everything gets "real" then it just seems like it becomes harder to work at because now you truly get to know that other person and you either accept them or you move on but it's easier said than done.
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rita taylor
3/6/2014 08:01:43 am
Love is powerful doesnt have to be lovey dovey what does that person make u feel like in an entirety what can u look at that person and truly say that makes u happy and not just a moment but a lifetime
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Breigh Donaldson
3/6/2014 02:44:28 pm
Love is TOO powerful. Sometimes you have too much love then you're stuck wondering what to do with all of it...
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Ella Marie
3/6/2014 09:27:04 am
I think "love" has different levels. In a book about marriage what was said was, "the being in love experience is very different than actually choosing someone to love someone". Because the falling in love experience is an emotion, you are so caught up in how wonderful this person makes you feel when you are laying next to them, when they are near you or just the thought of them makes you smile. But when that feeling of being wrapped up in that person melts away, you begin to see that they are a liar, cheater, deviant, lazy, crazy etc. that is when the choice comes in...you have to decide am I okay with this person lying, cheating, abusing me? Am I okay with loosing myself so that this person can be happy and comfortable? I think this is where so many go wrong in relationships, they marry while still in the "in love" phase. This is why I feel that taking your time getting to know the person is best for both of you. Taking your time can keep you from drama with a mistress, random children, std's, liars and cheats. The feeling is great but when ish gets real and reality hits is this really what you signed up for? Or did the mask just come off and the real person isn't the person you thought they were. I think both men and women need to stop worrying so much about falling in love but rather choosing to be in love, making decisions not to cheat, not to disrespect your partner, to treat them in the way you deserve. Because forever is a long time to be with someone who isn't worth you! Sorry for the long message, I'm currently writing a book in this topic and just wish that people would realize falling in love is more about honor and respect and less about the feeling. The Bible says don't be guided by your feelings but be guided by the word. Just because you don't "feel" like going to work doesn't mean you don't go because if you don't...you don't eat. Feelings lead us into horrible situations where we are mistreated.
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Breigh Donaldson
3/6/2014 02:43:22 pm
I like this post. I agree with the falling in love phase.Forever is a long damn time and it truly takes time to really fall in love with someone,That means you know them completely, you except them at their best and worst and just because it gets hard you can't just give up. You wouldn't stop being someone's best friend just because of one disagreement.It takes time
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Ella Marie
3/6/2014 08:38:52 pm
I agree that you can't give up because they let you down. But I do encourage and have let "friends" and relationships go when it became more about them then us. Every type of relationship has to have stability and respect. A friend or lover that is disrespectful and not considerate of me and my feelings....that's not a friend at all. I think people tolerate too much then say it's because of love. "he cheats on me...but I love him/her", "he/she hits me....but I love them", "he/she lies to me .....but I love them". At some point certain things should not be tolerated and you have to LOVE YOU FIRST! Expect more and receive better. Marriage is a sacred bond, you are bound spiritually and legally to this person when the person is not upholding the respect for your relationship by cheating, lying, stealing, killing etc. that is when the marriage turns into something else that's ugly, has ill feelings, and you end up accepting less than you deserve in the name of LOVE. my husband would cheat and because we had children I thought I should stay, get mad, pray, punish him etc. But what I didn't realize was that my husband spiritually and legally bound to me has been sharing his feelings, emotions and "love" with someone else. That takes away from ME. And it reflected in who I was becoming and my children saw this change or hurt in me. When disrespect is entered into any relationship it becomes more about keeping yourself emotionally healthy. If you allow certain things to be okay in your relationship......they will continue to happen and you will continue to change yourself to suit an unhealthy relationship. And trust me picking up the pieces after years and years of cheating, trust issues, secrets is MUCH more difficult vs choosing you when the other person isn't. Knowing your worth and accepting nothing less. I now have a man who chooses to love me, build me up, hold and protect my heart and I believe would not lay in bed with another woman, kissing, having sex and sharing those sacred things with anyone but me. He is not perfect but respect, honor, trust and true love is what we both agree is something that once lost begins to infect everything like a cavity in a tooth and before you know it.....you have lost your teeth, but they still have theirs.
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Breigh
3/7/2014 01:22:23 am
I know we are talking about a serious issue with relationships and love but your comments make me feel better in a strange way. It's like speaking truth and wisdom into my soul :) so many things to figure out...I agree, if someone isn't happy then they don't need to stay and try to force happiness it'll only end up in one person or both resenting the other
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Ella Marie
3/14/2014 11:43:25 pm
I just am seeing this, thank you. That really means a lot. You are a beautiful woman who should only be treated like a Queen and accept nothing less. Once you have that ingrained in your DNA a man...not a male but a man wouldn't chance loosing you for the world!
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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