I worry about 'adult' things. I worry about bills, how to pay them, how much I owe, when they are due...I worry about my marriage, am I a good wife, how can I make it better, will this marriage last...There are a shit ton of things I worry about, stress about, get depressed about. I honestly think about giving everything away and just go off of the grid sometimes, but that just does not seem like it would work well for my lifestyle. I thought about turning my cellphone off but what if I need it for an emergency or someone needs to get ahold of me in case anything happened? I thought about giving my car back to CarMax because that would seriously save me like $700 a month but I like feeling independent and not having to rely on a taxi or the bus showing up late. I thought about giving up our apartment but seriously that would never work if we moved back in with our parents, there would never be any privacy and I wouldn't really feel as if we were a married couple. All of those ideas shot down with no chance of ever happening. One thing I am going to look into is trying to find cheaper insurance, a low cellphone plan, and an apartment where the rent is worth what we're getting. If I go on a ramen noodles diet I'd say I have it almost figured out. I never thought life was easy, never thought that,ever but geez. For like 5 consecutive years could I at least just have things be the way I dreamed of?
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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