I started my new job and got through the first week (barely, if I'm being honest). I finished my on-the-job-training/packet, which can only be done during the day because that's the only time the training coach is there, and then I was just THROWN into my regular overnight schedule. I must say that my first night was TERRIBLE. For the shift, it was only myself and another overnight person and, luckily, a dayshift person chose to be held over to help us out. On top of that, I found out I was actually the overnight shift supervisor! Also, it's important to note that, although it was exciting news, I felt kind of blindsided by it because I was only made aware in THAT moment. So, not only were we short staffed, I also had to fulfill a role I wasn't prepared for or expecting, which, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for, I'm just still trying to adjust to this new population and get a feel for the work environment overall and to also see how overnight shift is ran since I've only been there during the day. The one other overnight dude was tasked with training me but we were so busy that there wasn't really time in between to actually get it. The rest of the week went way smoother, for the most part, but all I could think about was my dreadful first night because that was my first impression. I also have never worked in this population before so it's still this sort of "culture shock" that I'm working through. I don't even know how I made it through the week because I definitely thought about quitting and I even had a brief meltdown, in the office, Tuesday night. I did get some encouragement from the other shift supervisors when they came in that morning because I think they could tell I wasn't feeling it. I had to redo all of my security check sheets and go over a few other things that was wrong (since I wasn't able to be properly trained) I told them "I did the best I could, I tried." They said "No, you did pretty good for your first night; you won't get it all down the first night, give it some time. You did good for it to be short like it was and it's a process." They also told me not to quit on them... it's been hard for them to keep new staff and I can believe it. I am going to do my best to make this job work for me, however way I have to think and act on that to make it happen, and push that awful first night out of my mind. I just hate feeling incompetent, even though I am still being trained and they don't expect perfection, I can't shake it off. I am a perfectionist at heart, and I understand that I'm not going to get everything right right away, but I know I'll feel more comfortable once I can just go with the flow and not have to feel like I'm second guessing myself in this role I've never been in. I'm such an impatient person but I realize that I can't rush certain things and I just have to go through it. "Ain't nothing to it but to do it."
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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