Have you ever laid down or slept next to your significant other and found that your breathing was in sync? Like, your heart beat was matching breath to breath with theirs and you could feel the rise and fall of their chest as you inhaled and exhaled? I mean, that sounds kind of romantic, right? NO! I actually kind of hate when I unintentionally notice that our breathing seems to be the same and I can sense his heart beat is in the same rhythm as mine. Once I realize the pattern, I start feeling like I'm suffocating all of a sudden and I "forget" how to breathe within those few seconds. It actually stresses me out a little bit. If I don't notice it then I guess it's okay but after I have that realization then I start to have this little flutter of panic and I take this deep breath trying to get my shit together again. It makes me think of when I was in bootcamp and we always had to march on the same step and it was so drilled into my mind that, when I went home for holiday break, I would always find myself doing a swift two step just to keep in the same stride as the person I was walking with (that was a weird habit to break). Anytime I would come across those "cutesy" love quote post about having one heart beat with your soulmate or something, I just laugh because that is definitely not something I am okay with. I have just never been a fan of it. I love to cuddle but there's just something about that aspect that I am not happy with. I think it's because I almost can't tell my own breathing from his and so I have a small freakout and I end up trying to be the one to catch my breath. I don't know. It'skind of hard to explain....
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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