I think the best versions of who we are as individuals require various levels of being the “best” that we possibly can in that particular situation. When I’m depressed, I don’t need someone telling me to “just get up and go outside because you need fresh air and to let the sunshine in.” I don’t think that’s necessarily a terrible idea because I do understand the concept, but that’s still YOUR version of MY best self in that state. If I'm depressed and laying around then telling me to go outside in the hopes that the sun will help is NOT going to work out the way you’re hoping it will, not for me at least. No, for me, in that moment, me being my “best” self is simply being motivated enough to get up for a shower, or to run an errand or two, even just making an effort to eat something is a task in itself, and so on. I don’t need to be the “Super Woman” version in those cases. I just need to be the more primal adaptation of myself and only that for that time so I can have that sliver of joy through creating small victories because I’ve at least done the basics. I think that’s an easy enough scenario for everyone to really grasp what I’m saying. I’m learning that I have to be patient with myself in knowing that I have to be flexible to be the self that I have to be in order to efficiently handle circumstances that come my way. I have to do that for myself and to NOT be what OTHERS are demanding me to be. Sometimes, I still feel like people that might be genuinely trying to help end up creating more grief for me, unintentionally of course. I can’t fault them for not knowing me as well as I know myself but they add to my anguish after I’ve attempted to vocalize what ME is needed and then they manage to diminish what I’m communicating; believing that that part of me is not enough and I’m somehow incapable as a whole now. Maybe, that’s not how it is but I perceive it to be that and it’s all down from there. Like, sorry I only needed you to be my CHEERLEADER and NOT MY COACH. In the end, I have to realize that being the best versions of me involves a constant awareness of making adjustments accordingly in order to succeed in my everyday life. Right now, I'm trying to figure out which self is the best for me because I'm a little lost on it but I'll get there. I HAVE to get there...
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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