I am going to miss having my big brother on earth with us but I am so happy for him. He gets to be in the most beautiful place, surrounded by nothing but love, and now he is free. He doesn't have to constantly look over his shoulder or deal with the stress of life anymore. My brother is probably celebrating with his mom, it's been a long 25 years without her so I know she was probably there, waiting for him with big open arms. It still breaks my heart in knowing what my brother had to go thru in his final moments and I just don't know why he had to leave this world in such a violent, hateful way but that's behind us now. I just try to find comfort in knowing that he is safe now and no one can ever hurt him again. He was such an amazing person. He made such an impact on everyone he knew and I am so happy to ever have been the sibling of someone who was so awesome in his whole 38 years of life. I thought his funeral was subpar and definitely could have went a little smoother but I had to remember that the funeral was for US. His body is just a body; a shell of what he was on earth. His spirit is long gone, up into the Heavens where he is able to fly and be everything he can be, any form he wants to be. I held my brother's face at the viewing because I knew I would never see this body again, alive and moving about. I was sad to see his body in that casket, but I knew his spirit was in a much higher place where we can't see him until it is our own time to join him. I kept imagining that his spirit was there and overseeing everything and I knew he was smiling because he was the star of the show and so many loved him and were all gathered in one place. My heart hurts but it doesn't feel heavy because my brother is not here, I rejoice in the fact that he is at peace and free from harm. Nobody can hurt my baby again and he gets to spend eternity with his mom. I love you, please watch over me.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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