After writing the last post, I thought I would write more about this whole "changing over time" topic. I am still continuing to grow as a person and I can feel it within myself. I get a lot of people telling me how comfortable it is talking to me and they like me because I'm always true to myself and I love hearing that. I wish I could've started off being "true" to myself but then I wouldn't have went through this journey that led me to where I am now and the person I will continue to grow into. I was never much to "conform" but I was always trying to not be too much of an "individual" and avoid too much attention. The older I get, however, I realize that I love who I am and all of my weirdness that is me. I will never change myself to fit others' standards and that's what others, I think, are drawn to? I wanted to point out, too, that I haven't been writing these "ALL ABOUT ME" type posts to give myself a big head or be self-centered, but really, it's an exercise for me to work on being more optimistic and discover that I am not a bad person and I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I am human and I have made mistakes and will make mistakes but I am still someone special and I have to start believing that if I'm ever going to get far. I have been down on myself for far too long and I can't do it anymore. It's stressful and hard to see the beauty of the world if I'm constantly doubting being ME. I remember for months how I would barely take pics of myself because I didn't feel beautiful. On the outside, I felt I couldn't get my makeup right or I was ugly when I was natural, on the inside, I felt like this unattractive blob and the camera would capture that somehow. I still hate taking pics but I am learning, on a daily basis, that I am beautiful and happiness comes from within and if I don't see it in myself, then how can I expect the world to? I might not be the same person I am next year, I will be even better, but I won't stop trying until I reach the top.
1 Comment
T Mack
10/20/2015 09:50:39 pm
It makes you feel free. Stay true to yourself.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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