I have just been thinking about how you never really get over your first heartbreak. It just sticks with you like a piece of gum you accidently step on with your shoe. You can scrape at it all you want but there is always some remnants of it that just becomes a pain in your ass. Yeah, it's definitely like that. I don't know why this has crossed my mind but it has been looming around like the plague in the back of my mind. I guess I keep thinking about how that heartbreak has shaped a part of my being. I don't want to say it was just that one heartbreak that is just the core of my existence but it definitely took away a part of me and turned me into something else, little by little. That heartbreak taught me to be careful with me heart, and I learned that lesson with each heartbreak after that. I used to be so angry at my first love for hurting me like that. I loved him so much and would've done anything he asked of me but it was the right thing to do. At the time, I couldn't see past the heartache, but as time went on, I realized this was part of life and I wouldn't be me if I hadn't gone through that experience. I would've never learned another way to love without that. I am so much stronger than I think I am and I know that but sometimes it takes certain things to happen to realize that I can make it through the day. I am not saying I just woke up after that heartache and was ready to take on the world because that definitely didn't happen. I balled my eyes out for days, and then I would get the courage to carry on and then I would cry again whenever I was in the shower. It took time but I made it and look at me now. I started to live by the motto, "Whatever will be, will be." Things in life are lined up the way they are meant to be and things will fall into place as their time comes. I might have gotten my heart broken then but years later, I found someone who loved me unconditionally and married me. Never give up.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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