I'm sorry I haven't been writing as much lately, just have been having so much on my mind lately and I've been so exhausted. Last night, I pulled up the "On this day" tab on Facebook and I saw the pictures I uploaded from Memorial Day, when all of my family was at my grandma's house. I just couldn't handle it and all I could do was cry. I miss her so much and there is just no way to bring her back and that makes me hurt even more. I also found out yesterday that my aunt has stage 5 kidney failure. I have a big family so I'm hopeful that one of us will be a match for her but after still grieving about the loss of my grandma, I just can't imagine losing her too. She is literally the glue that holds my family together, even while my grandma was alive, and still after passed, my aunt was taking care of us, cooking for us while we went thru my grandma's house and making sure we got everything situated. If we lose her, I don't know what I would do with myself. I really don't. Every time I go home and see the mini shrine I made for my grandma, I get this pain in my stomach and I think about how those glasses shouldn't be on my table, but on her face, with her sly smile and youthful eyes. I shouldn't have a piece of her ashes, she should be whole and at home, in her bed. I miss her so much and I hurt so bad inside, I just wish I could have her back here on earth. I want to be selfish and keep her to myself, well to our family, but I know she has moved on and she's doing all the wonderful things in Heaven she wasn't able to do down here and I have to accept that, I have no choice. I will always be a part of her and I know she is watching out for us all.
1 Comment
Somebody W. Carez
5/27/2016 11:54:13 pm
"LETTER FROM HEAVEN"
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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