Sometimes I get lost. I get lost in my own mind and when someone calls out to me, while I'm in mid trance, I just give them this blank stare for a second. I see myself looking at them but I know I am not really looking at them, I'm still trapped inside my thoughts, longing to blink and break the spell I have cast upon myself. I like running away to my mind, my own personal area where no one can see me or hear me, I'm invisible. I used to daydream a lot in school, especially high school. I would somehow manage to find my way to be assigned to a window seat and I would just stare out of it., dreaming and wishing things were the way I would imagine. I still like to drift off sometimes, and pretend I'm somewhere else or just that I don't exist entirely. Now that I have gotten older, though, going in between a fantasy and reality is harder. I don't have time to be in my own world, I have to face the real world and that's just how it has to be. I see so many things and I think so many things, so many things that I will probably never say out loud to anyone. I remember when I was younger I would just say any and everything that would pop into my head because I didn't want to die knowing that that thought had gone unheard. It was a little extreme but it worked. I was so fearful and so brave to get it all out, to get the words out of my head, to no one in particular, but I knew once the words had flew from my mouth that they were out into the world. I want to be like that again. I feel as if I hold so much back, and I know I do, but I get scared of what the world will say back once my thought and idea has emerged from my mind and into the universe. I have this blog and it makes it so much easier for me to just write and to let my thoughts be heard. My typing what exactly I feel is my way of throwing myself into the world and trying to be brave to anyone who dares to read it. I want to be like the childhood of Breigh, saying what she feels, what her ideas are, fearless, brave. That's what we should all be; Unafraid.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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