This might sound grim but sometimes I find myself wishing it could all end. I drive home, sometimes, thinking "Maybe today is the day, I could drive off this ramp and end it all, here and now." Obviously, I haven't done that. Or I find myself looking at a bridge and telling myself "You can get out the car and just jump." I even find myself hoping that I somehow get in the crossfire of a shootout. I don't know why I feel this way but I feel like I am constantly feeling this horrible heartache and I don't know how to stop this pain from spreading. The more I see in the news and read about, I just have no faith in humanity, maybe about 10% of faith and I know that I am the master of my own destiny and blah, blah, blah but really. What am I missing out on by not being a part of this lifetime? I wake up some days and I am overwhelmed by such grief and it's an unexplainable grief and sorrow that I have no idea how it got there or how to make it go away. I just don't want to suffer anymore but how can I make it go away when the problem seems to be built into me?
1 Comment
riley
3/24/2015 04:50:32 am
I feel the same way all you can do is take it day by day
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
|