I have not been in the holiday spirit at all. I didn't even feel like I wanted to go to my family's Christmas party this year and I ALWAYS look forward to that. Well, I did end up going and I had a good time with my family as I always do, but overall, I still feel as if we weren't "enjoying" ourselves like we should have been. We did laugh, drink, eat, and be merry but it all felt staged somehow. I think it was because we are all still really missing my grandma so that kind of hurt our hearts to know that she couldn't enjoy this holiday with us but we kknew we had to carry on with our tradition together. The party was on Christmas Eve. On actual Christmas day, I pretty much just stayed in bed, with my husband, and watching movies. I got up and cooked us an amazing dinner (even tried a few new recipes) and we sat around like some lazies but I loved every second of that because it was relaxing and how I imagined I'd be spending that day anyways. We watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Cat in the Hat and that was the highlight of my day because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE those movies. I don't know though, I'm just not feeling into the holiday "cheer." I don't even think I want to go out for New Year's Eve this year. I've contemplated between doing a girls' night with my sisters or simply staying home, in my bed, knocked out from a couple sleeping pills, and just sleeping through the night. I just don't think I want to be bothered. Plus, although I had the TIME OF MY LIFE last NYE, I was SICK AS A DOG that next day and that's when I found out I had H. Pylori and ulcers. I can't even drink like I would want to, not even if I tried. I'm not saying I NEED nor do I even WANT to be shitfaced for the festivities but it would be nice to at least be able to enjoy a glass of wine without feeling like I swallowed a ball of fire to situate itself in my stomach and causes me to feel like I am sizzling from the inside out. Well, that is that.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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