I am only 20 years old and while sitting in my Survey of Social Problems class, talking about Erik Erickson's 8 stages of Man, and I am stuck on the 5th stage, which is Ego Identity vs. Role Confusion, ages 12-18 years. I thought to myself "Wow, yes, that's so true". In high school I didn't know who I wanted to be, what I was going to become, I definitely struggled with that and even still now I don't know nor understand my true self yet. I was so angry. Why was I so angry? I still haven't answered that. I tended to flip flop around with my mood after coming out of such despair at the end of my 8th grade year, if you read my other post "Virginity, Sex, & The 8th Grade Mind" then you know what I mean. As a freshman, I was the happy-go-lucky cheerleader, so full of life and energetic. In the flip of a dime, as a sophomore, I became withdrawn and angry, for no real reason, at everybody. I wanted to be isolated onto my own little island. I had low self-esteem and used sex as my escape, I was so depressed and I didn't know how to pull myself out of it. Forwarding on to junior year, after switching schools, I felt more refreshed and open to life again. I didn't get involved with a lot of clubs and activities but I made some friends and I was happy, everything just felt right. My last year was a mix of emotions. One minute I wanted to be alone, the next, I was making plans to get out the house and go hang out with friends. I just really wanted to be done with high school and move on in life. In some aspects, I have. I did graduate in 2012 but I feel like I haven't outgrown that high school image sometimes. Not in the physical sense but just that I feel like I need to be an adult and grow up in the emotional sense. I'm sorry I forgot where I was going with this when I started but you get the point, I hope...
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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