You ever look at somebody and realize you don't know them as well as you thought? I feel that way sometimes. I figure that everyone lives some sort of double life, we are all constantly hiding a part of ourselves from the rest of the world. There's always some sort of mystery to the person we each present ourselves to be to other people. You will never know what someone is capable of doing until you know their whole story and their mindset. I try not to pass judgment on others when it comes to their personal lives or whatever may be going on because I know I am not perfect and I am the LAST person to criticize another person's choices in life. With that being said, I look at people and I wonder what's on their mind and what's their intentions? Motives? I always used to be the type of person that saw the good in people right away but now I look into their eyes and wonder what it is they are truly after, what do they really want, what's really on their mind. Am I weird for assuming that people are never who they say they are or portray to be?
8 Comments
Ella Marie
3/6/2014 11:18:54 pm
I would say absolutely NOT! People and relationships are like the finding a job process. First you put your resume out there to potential employers, Then you take the interview, showing your BEST self, talking up how great you are. The accepting the job is where the work comes in, where at times parts and pieces of who you really are, your weaknesses and faults may show from time to time but when you OWN the company (marriage) that is when everything is exsposed and when it is evident who you really and truely are. But before allowing someone to OWN the company, do your research, pay attention to the things they say then pay closser attention to the things they DO. If they are missing for certain periods of time. Not where they say they are. Money missing and not accounted for. But when I really sit back and think about the interview (courting) process with my ex-husband, he showed me everything I needed to see....I just chose not to pay attention. When you are in the "falling in love" phase you ignore all the RED FLAGS.
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Ella marie
3/7/2014 12:07:49 am
Something that just came to my mind. People are decietful and will only do what you allow them to do to you. I was once courted by a man for a few months, after 2-3 months I decided to give him a chance, the first time we were intimate I noticed a tatoo on his chest with a females name and roses or hearts...Idont remember. I asked him whose name that was, he told me it was his sisters name who had died at birth, he even gave a whole story about her death etc. Comes to find out IT WAS HIS WIFES NAME! I had no idea he was even married. He never wore a ring, was always asking to see me, available whenever I wanted to see him, invited me to public places with his friends/collegues and to two of his many jobs. He was so convincing and genuine-seeming. But because my ex-husband was such a "peach" I knew how to pay attention to things that even I didnt want to pay attention to. So I went on a fishing expedition and found out that he was married...recently! When i told him I knew whose name that was on his chest he continued to lie, then says that they are not together anymore.....He continues to persue me and to this day will not admit he and his wife are together. That makes me extremely sad for her because she probably has some idea that things are not right but no idea that he tells people her tatooed name is his dead sisters name......That to me was EXTREMELY LOW. Always watch the actions not the words.
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Breigh
3/7/2014 01:15:06 am
Sometimes when you turn a blind eye to things when you're in the "falling in love" phase. The wife and that husband...She's still thinking on how she wants to handle it but as for the husband, I hope he enjoyed ruining the image his wife once held of him. She can't ever look at him the same, as time goes on, she wonders why did they rush into marriage in the first place and maybe they need some time a part from each other to decide where to go from there :/ I'm sorry you keep writing me stories and I have such little paragraphs but I have so much on my mind I can't really focus..
Ella Marie
3/7/2014 01:46:33 am
Its okay and totally understandable. I just really want "that wife" to know that she is not alone. And although my role in it is "odd" but I teach seminars and as I said am currently writting a book about things of this sort called The Translation: What Men Say and Women Hear in hopes of preventing things like this from happening. I really love your blog and think that you are an amazing and beautiful woman. The funny thing is that this is exactly how I met one of my best friends....she was sleeping with my husband and did not know at all that he was even married until she decided to google our marriage lisence, she then contacted me. I am 31 and have lived a seeming long long life in regards to relationships...my son is 16...so that says enough. If "the wife" needs anything she is always able to contact me (even though that may be strange) but I am truly an unbiased person. I believe in true love and honesty. Everything happens for a reason to me, I found out before my feelings were really involved. I think that its a blessing and a curse that I have sooooo much experience with this topic but my goal is to pass as much of it along as possible so that other women dont have to continually be mistreated. Hell, men help each other cheat and be players so we should definately be helping to build each other up as women so that we are prepared for life, love and really living.
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Breigh
3/7/2014 02:13:05 am
Yeah, but things happen for a reason, even if they come about in a strange way. I'm happy you enjoy my blog, writing is my passion. I'm not much of a speaker on how I feel so when I write I'm like a bleeding heart in my journals. I look forward to reading your book whenever it becomes published. You have been so helpful in everything and "that wife" appreciates it, and is grateful that "someone" told her the truth, otherwise she would have probably gone on thinking he was perfect and would have never known...you think you know someone but you never truly do...
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Ella Marie
3/7/2014 02:35:00 am
I have a fb page associated with my book, if you would like to join the group, read some post or even add your insight. It is a place where people come to vent, share or to get help. I have over 600 "translators" aka members. So if you would another outlet or more insight feel free to check it out. If its okay I will share your blog with my members, I think they would really like it.
Breigh
3/8/2014 03:00:29 pm
I'd love that, whats the group name? I would like to join it, and put in my input on anything
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Ella Marie
3/8/2014 03:18:21 pm
The Translation: what men say and what women hear is the group name.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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