I constantly wish I could have do-overs in life. I think I wrote about this before but it's something that is continuously on my mind and I really wish it could be true at times. I sometimes wish I could do the military experience over, I probably wouldn't have done it at that time in my life like I did the first time around, but I think I could have gone longer than I did or maybe not. I think it was for the best, for the most part though, that I was discharged because maybe my life could have went another direction that would have been less than desirable, but in the same token, it could have also been the best thing to happen to me. I will never know, however. So, I guess it's not about do-overs but more or less about how I wish I could see how both endings would turn out if I make either decision in a situation. Like, what if I had never got married so young? Would my dreams had changed or how would I have thought and acted if such a major event had occurred for me at that age? I think about how I attended college after having taken that unintentional gap year and if I made. What if I had just applied myself and put forth more effort in high school and attempted to put in applications for the many scholarships I qualified for? Was Kaplan the best decision I could have made for myself or should I have went to an actual major college, such as UNO, or something? I just wish I could be able to see how life would play out with both choices in any given circumstance. I guess it could be thought of as a do-over because, with going back in time to redo a decision I made, that would be like entering an alternate universe. However, I would wish that I could just see the paths in front of me, like on a split screen on my laptop. Would that even be fair? I think that we don't always make the best choices but we end up coming into who we are as a person as a result of those choices so would it be an unfair advantage to be able to see where a choice could lead you and change the course of your life? I don't know, my thoughts are all over with this topic. I feel like a lot could potentially be prevented if we could see those alternate realities but I also think we wouldn't be able to learn from our mistakes if we were always choosing the more "ideal" reality. Damn it, there I go again being on the fence. Whatever. These are my thoughts so who is anyone to tell me how to think?
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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