I had the WORST NIGHTMARE last night. I was in my bed, at home, like I was in real life. Actually, everything looked EXACTLY like my real life situation so it was equally confusing as it was troubling. In the dream, there was this dark entity in the apartment and I think I was trying to tell Cash about it but he just rolled up and mumbled something about it being a daffodil and being a powerful something or something like that I can't remember exactly. I was scared and on my own after that and I remember putting my head under the pillow and then just kind of bursting from underneath the pillow and trying to call out Jesus and then I started doubting myself about Him coming to save me from this spirit; it was an AWFUL feeling to have felt that doubt when I KNOW He wouldn't have just leave me alone in that time of need, but still, the emotion occurred. Then, in real life, I popped up and screamed for Cash. I felt foggy and asked him to plead the blood of Jesus but, for a second, my mind was blank and took me a minute to remember that's what I wanted and tried calling out. Cash called out and then prayed over us. I was still a little shaken up but felt calm at the same time and I was shaken up because I had got trapped in this nightmare that was identical to my reality, making my perception unsure if I was actually wake or not. I also had the word "daffodil" stuck in my mind so I decided to look into it. Daffodil's are considered March's flower (my birth month) and symbolize rebirth, renewal, happiness, friendship, awareness, forgiveness, and so on. This made me think that maybe the shadow wasn't a spirit, but more something that's coming my way in the fact of my own self-reinvention. I've taken risky measures lately and I'm in the process of setting myself up for something better; my career, my personal joy, moving to a new place that's more thought out and not something we found last minute so I could leave Omaha and come to a new "home," and that's a few things off the top of my head. I also hope that maybe I felt that doubt because it wasn't meant to be scary but symbolic. I am working on building a relationship with the Lord so there's another something I'm working on. I'm just appreciating my own efforts and the seeds that have already been planted for me.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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