Sometimes I come home and I just think to myself and so many things run through my mind. I can't believe, for one, that I'm walking into my apartment, MY apartment. It's not my mom's house or my dad's place, it's MINE, well, my husband's apartment as well. That's another thing that gets me too, is that I'm MARRIED, to a real live man, not some daydream I have or a figment of my imagination, but a real man. It all seems so surreal. I don't know why I still have these thoughts when we've been married almost 3 years and living on our own just the same. Still, it feels like I'm back at 18 years old, sleeping in my room, in the basement, that I used to share with my sister, and I wasn't necessarily single but I definitely wasn't picturing myself as being somebody's wife, anytime soon, if even at all. Then, when I realize that I am almost 22 years old, with a husband, and we live in our own apartment, paying bills, and I'm in college. I didn't see my life this way, not in a bad way. I knew I had to grow up and move out and all that other good stuff one day but now that it's here, it's kind of unreal. Sorry, I'm rambling or maybe not making sense, but I know someone reading this has to understand this feeling. What I'm trying to say is that it feels AMAZING to come home and know that I made this all possible. It feels good to be an adult at times because I feel like I have that independence and freedom that I've always longed for while living at my mom's. Bills suck, of course, but that comes with it. I guess it's still the newness of it all but I kind of want to hold onto this feeling forever, even if I've been married for 40 years and living in a mansion.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
|