I always have hated when I tell people I'm depressed and they either brush it off like it's a joke or they tell me "everyone is depressed, that's life" or I'm just experiencing a "temporary sadness" or whatever else it is they say. What pisses me off about that is that I don't get people get it. Depression is a sadness, yes, but it's another level of sadness that's not just what "normal" people experience. It's like you are stuck
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I remember when my best friend, Desiree, and I were heading to Walmart one night. We always headed there after a long night of partying at this club, Capitol, that we used to go to when it was open back then. It was our weekend thing when we'd sometimes get a hotel room, taxi to the club, and dance the night away. On the weekends where we weren't blowing money on a room, we would do our routine
I find myself thinking about how much I miss my grandma and brother. It just catches me in those little, completely unexpected moments and I try not to bawl my eyes out or remember that I will never see their faces again, roaming this earth and alive. I keep thinking about how I'll never be able to make new memories, in my grandma's old house, with my family or how my brother's face won't be around and now I'm down one sibling. It fucking hurts so bad. My heart just hurts but I go on about the day and I have to
Every time I speak on the phone with my dad, it just melts my whole heart. I love him so much and I would DIE without him. I'm so happy he's been in my life since the beginning of time. I say that because there are dead beat parents out there but my parents were definitely there to help support me and encourage my growth in every stage of my life. My dad is 40 years older than me. His birthday is a few weeks before mine and I like how I can track his age through mine. Like, I'm 22, he's 62. When I'm 25, he'll be 65. It's a
I usually write letters to myself on here about what I wish I could have told myself back then or what I would like my future self to know. I decided to take a different approach this time and the prompt calls for advice that I would give to "kids" who are going into middle school/ high school, whatever. I remember making my little sister a poster about growing up and entering middle school. It was more of a spoof type of poster that Wambli and I put together but still was meant to act as a "guide" when it came
Since my blogs have been a little bit more on the "down" side, I thought I would sprinkle some positivity on my blog... Well, I have been kicking total ass for this term of school! I thought I was going to have to repeat another course because I had almost failed it from the last term but I had done so well with my other 2 classes that my GPA didn't suffer too badly. It should also be noted that I didn't slack off exactly with my last term as to how I failed that course. That was just around the time my brother got killed and I
I feel like everyone kind of had something to say after I wrote my last few posts. It wasn't anything negative just was about being concerned for me. Look, I am okay, really. I don't have any plans to kill myself presently and I didn't mean to rattle some people's cage about my mental health. I am definitely taking the steps I need to ensure that I have a healthy mind again and I am proud of myself for accepting that about me. Though, I had never denied that I had my shit together, meaning being mentally strong.
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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