I am still very much grieving over my grandma's passing. I am no longer scared of the dark and or having nightmares like I was the first week but my heart still hurts so much over the loss of her. I've just felt so angry and so lost in the world since she's been gone.I don't even talk to my "friends" hardly anymore because I could care less about them and what they're up to. Plus, I'm just over everyone asking what's wrong with me. I'm FUCKING STRESSED OUT because my GRANDMA IS GONE!!! Thank you for being concerned, really, but I'm still not ready to deal with it and every time someone asks me, it just opens up my heart sore. I just want to go to her house and see that everything is right again, with her in bed, peaking at the TV or being nosey thru her window whenever we'd have a family function in her yard. It's not even that I seen my grandma every day, but just knowing she's not here on this earth anymore makes me feel like a piece of me has died. I'm going to miss her half cheek kisses, her doing her crossword puzzles on the porch, drinking her beer,
I remember when I was SO IN LOVE with my ex. I literally didn't want to imagine life without him. I wanted to give him babies and I don't even want kids, I thought he was my soul mate. He was my first for a lot of things and he was definitely my first, real heartbreak. I would have done ANYTHING for him, walk to the ends of the earth if he asked. You get the point, but that's how deeply in love I was with this man. I thought we would end up together and live happily ever after, which I didn't believe in either, but I let him break my heart repeatedly and I STILL thought he was the man of my dreams, but I had to work past that and understand that as much as I loved him
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About the AuthorI got the idea to create a blog in December 2014 on a random type of day.Writing has always been therapeutic; the only way I could communicate clearly, in actual words instead of struggling to unscramble the swirl of images, metaphors & analogies that is my thought process. In short, Archives
February 2020
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